Sunday, February 20, 2011

The Path from A. B. to M.C.

20 February 2011

Dear MC,

I was chatting with a common acquaintance of ours last night from our JBL days. Naturally some memories of the past were invoked and it was really quite amazing how things have turned out between the two of us. How was it that during our time as JBL-Sx nurses, we never got to share shifts not even once but then we were able to get to know each other more. In fact, I know more about you than some of our colleagues back then who I actually spent more shifts and rotations with. It's funny that it was after we both left JBL that we got to hang out more.

I must admit, my eyes were busy looking the other way around. By now, I am sure you have an idea who she was - the one whose beauty pulled my winds to her sights. Truth be told, and this I swear to my grandmom's grave, it was just a crush. Somethin' that I never wanted to pursue, and somethin' that I know I shall never have. As you age, ugh, you will come to distinguish, decipher and perhaps decode the difference of a crush to a genuine interest. Even then, I made no efforts to take that crush to a level where friendships would blur. But, as you will also know by now, it was misconstrued and it came to a point where A. B. could not hide her discomfort about it anymore. It was a shame that it had reached that point even before I got to explain my side. It was my fault that it got misinterpreted and it was too late for me to make the necessary adjustments so as to maintain the level of comfort we had for each other. In any case, after leaving JBL, I texted her and apologized. I have explained everything and she took my word for it. As it turns out now, we're cool. All of it gone.

Yes, all of it gone. As it was only a crush, a physical attraction, it wont be surprising if it fades with time. May I just say, or clarify, that not because I was not immediately attracted to you it necessarily means I don't find you pretty. Crap, you're every inch beautiful. It's just that, again, the wind had blown me to a different direction that time. As a changed man, even with my crushes, I am a one-woman man. Believe it or not, I have managed to have one crush at a time. So you might be wondering, where and when did it start? How come every stretch of my fiber right now just wants to be near you? When was it that triggered this point where just the thought of getting in touch with you makes me ecstatic? That would be for my next letter.

I miss you. Damn, I just wanna see you. Stay safe.



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